Healthy
Aug 22th, 2008When I was 17, I asked my first girlfriend to burn her old love letters from her old boyfriend. She didn't really want to, but I asked her to anyway. We burned them in her bedroom. Her bedspread caught fire.
The fire didn't get out of control, but I think back... How stupid and insecure I was... and I stole her memories, burned her treasured past for my own insecurities. I think its one of the worst things I ever did.
Becca, I'm sorry. I wish I could get those letters back for you. I regretted that for a long time.
But I don't need to do that anymore. Not like that. Sure I want the time from the one I love. I want their respect and their honesty, but that's enough, I don't need to own them. In fact, I don't want to own them.
Its too easy to own someone, to control them. I would feel no accomplishment. I would feel there was no real emotion. I see everyone else controlling each other, men controlling women with money, women men with sex, both controlling each other with guilt and tradition or religion.
I just want to be loved as I love. I want my love to know she could freely walk out of my life with no financial or societal problems, and that I would support her in following her heart no matter where she went. I would want her to know that and still come home to me everyday because she loves me, because there's nowhere else she'd rather be, because our home is where her heart is. That is what a successful relationship is.
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