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I Cry At Random Moments

March 1st , 2008

Every time I see something beautiful
It strikes too harshly into contrast
the rest of the world and its futility

My stomach tightens, My throat constricts
I wince and jerk my head down and away
trying to hold back the realization that reality is
what reality is

Disappointment crushes my frail body
and I feel my soul welling up
trying to escape from my eyes
like a precognitive rodent
from a sea floor-bound vessel

I feel only flesh around me
Blood pumping, gushing clumsily
through a mass of marbled meat

I can hear the greasy creaking of sinews
pulling wet sloppy cartilage,
grinding it against rough dilapidated bone...

Everything is real and painfully physical
Other empty shells brush against me
I feel sick from the stink of their sweat
and the give of their fat.

I don't want it anymore...

I cant keep watching

If good is potential, If god is justice,
If good is beauty, If good is truth,
If god is respect, If god is ...

If men truly have the ability to think and choose
Then this world is an affront to all that is holy
Cognition without disgust is my sacrilegious...

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