Unclogging a Bathtub Drain
January 7th, 2005
So fun.. So fun...
Actually, the only good thing about unclogging a tub is the insane home abortionist photo-op.
Step 1 - Pour a Butt-Load of Draino Down the Drain
Warning: Do not use an actual butt to measure the amount of draino. This can have adverse effects on the draino. Follow the directions on the anti-clogging agent before using. Don't wine to me if you don't. Actually, do. Then I can make fun of you.
Step 2 - Try a Plunger
If the buttload doesn't work, you'll have to plunge. This is not as easy as it sounds. You first have to remove the over flow plate -->
Then, use some wire to clear out any obstructions (soap-scum, grime, long beautiful flowing jesus hair, etc..) that may be in the drain and the overflow tube (the tube behind the overflow plate, genius).
You'll need to plug the overflow tube before you start plunging. Forget this step and you'll end up with a face full of wet sludge, so don't... or send me a picture and I'll post it.
Once you've plugged the tube, get your plunger and pump it like your in a flaming earthbound airplane. You may want someone to hold the rag in place as well, or you may end up with a face full of wet sludge-covered rag.
Step 3 - Get Really Frustrated
This is one of the more important steps. If you fail to get extremely angry, upset, or whiney, people may see you as someone who likes to do this sort of thing and will ask you to do it again. Piss and moan incessantly!
Step 4 - Auger Time (Oh-oh, Oh-oh, Can't touch this)
If the draino was tainted, you have a face of wet sludge-covered rag, and you were unsuccessful in guilting surrounding bystanders into completing the task for you, it's time to purchase an auger cable (sometimes known as a pipe-snake... :D ooh-la-la). -->
You'll feed the auger cable into the overflow tube (or your pipe-snake into the hole). Apply only slight pressure at any resistance while turning clockwise to clear obstructions or navigate sharp turns (isn't it amazing how similar pipe-snake and trouser-snake usage is).
Step 5 - Lather, Rinse, Repeat
At some point pull the snake back out, turning counterclockwise at resistance. Invariably, you'll pull back some nasty goop, so clean off your snake.
Use hot water to test the drain. It still won't be cleared, so after about 15 minutes of rest (this may take a bit longer if you're more advanced in years), put your snake back in and start working it again. Usually the second time around, you don't need to work as hard to get it in :D.
Step 6 - Screw Up and Give Up
When you've been at it for half an hour, the pipes are squealing, and you can hear the augor scratching in the U-pipe in the sink behind you (which is obviously the wrong pipe and has now been clogged as well), it's time to call a plumber. You really should have done that in the first place rather than consulting a blog about how to fix a bathtub drain. What were you thinking?
